Self Acceptance with Chronic Illnesses

    Self acceptance is an issue we all face throughout our lifetimes, as we change and grow as people we must constantly adjust our idea of who we are. This has been a prevalent issue for me in the last few months, I thought I knew who I was. I was the ‘mum’ friend, always looking out for others and loving my job in childcare. I was doing what I loved and was hoping health issues could be my past and not my future.

What I didn’t realise was that I was in fact trying to hide half of who I am, I still love
children and continue to want to take care of people. My health issues however are part of my
future, a rather large part. I struggled with the word disabled for a very long time before it
was a word I could associate with myself. I am a disabled individual who lives with chronic
illnesses. I can’t pretend that I’m not. (Believe me I’ve tried).

Disabled and ill are not dirty words, they don’t deserve their associated taboo. I am a
disabled individual, I am ill, but I still want to go drinking with friends, I am still hoping to go
to university, I am still just like you. Disabilities do not come in one shape or size, they do not
in any way conform to our 'ideals’. They break with social norms and they shape people
mentally and physically. Disabled is not a bad word but it felt like it was. I, like many who
struggle with health issues, hoped they would be temporary. Hoped that if I ignored them they
would not be there when I looked over my shoulder. Society told me that I could not be
disabled and fulfilled. I thought I couldn't be disabled and happy.

Yet I am. After my worst episode in 8 years I am miraculously still me. My ambition has not wavered,
my love has not faltered and though my heart is weary and battle scarred, it beats on. I have
experienced a shift in self believe and personal image. I have realised that ambition, anxiety, love,
pain, bravery and even beauty can all occur within one person, alongside so many other qualities and
experiences. People do not exist as stereotypes, we are each astonishing, beautiful and unique beings.
Someone with a disability or illness is no different.

I will still struggle with the implications my health has on my life. I will still cry over the lost
opportunities and be frustrated with my limitations. But I am forever moving towards a future of
acceptance and self love. I may never have the job I had dreamed of or a large family, but I will be happy.
There are so few people whose lives go untouched by fate’s twists and tricks, fortunes and hardships.
We all must bend and flow with the hand we're dealt. We must accept our circumstances and make
the most of the blessings we have been granted.